things stop being cute.

I just saw a really cute picture of a puppy on Pinterest.

The caption on the picture was “Pit bulls look very CUTE as a puppy.”

Which is true. I suppose. If you like puppies. I thought about that long enough that my mind was a little bit exploding with the following thoughts:

Puppies, even pit bulls, turn into dogs, and most dogs don’t maul and bite and devour other dogs or humans or birds and instead just chase after sticks and gnaw on things and look foolish when they chase their tails in the kitchen or whatever the hell it is dogs think they’re doing.

But humans are like dogs and babies are like puppies. Even though most puppies don’t grow up to be attack dogs/evil-minded pit bulls and other nasty stuff that go after children and whatever else they want and give everyone rabies, some puppies do. Just like babies coo and gurgle and spit up and say ‘mama’ really cutely and then become Hitler. Or Trump. Or white cops who shoot black guys who aren’t doing anything wrong.

The moral of the story is babies are cute and so are puppies and pit bulls aren’t inherently awful unless they are (I really don’t know, nor do I have an opinion on the matter. Don’t set your pit bull/other attack dog on me). Babies turn into humans who may or may not learn how to be real people who behave properly and share their toys and craft supplies, and later become adult humans who either know not to shoot people or don’t know that.

So if you have a puppy and it’s a pit bull or anything else, make sure it just chases its tail and nothing else. And if you have a tiny human in your house, it doesn’t have to share or anything really extreme like that (I never shared, I turned out okay), but maybe tell it not to turn into Trump, or a pit bull-like human when it stops being cute. Cause that’s what happens. Things stop being cute, and all of a sudden all those cute but slightly annoying things it used to do are not cute and most likely illegal. Puppies become pit bulls and teachers who traumatize young children were once babies too.

Astounding what happens to a good thing over time.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s